Mid Year 2010

Time is what I want most

But... what I use worst.

Three years gone by...

What have I gain or what have I lost?

I've gained an extra degree, which makes me more a geek.

What of use is another piece of paper that I'll get next week.

Maybe a little confidence.. a little joyance

"At least I have done a little better this time", said my conscience.

What else, oh what else?

What else did time make or take?

Time makes me a little wiser..

A little zealous for the Lord I sought after..

Teaching in the Brigade..

Hoping for the Words of God to pervade...

The life of the gals and mine in a whirl.

Yes.. my life was once lost and was hurled

into endless entertainment and endless work...

endless pavement where the serpent lurked.

Lost a grandma... fear of death.

Upset stomach.. grasp for breath.

Romance D'Amour... it's so difficult to play

Friends are gone... and never back.

Oh well.. oh well...

How much tears and how many smiles can I remember?

That's just a brief summary for me to reminisce.

Catching up with secondary school friendz...

I met my secondary school galfriends at TB 2 weeks ago. It's a bit awakward.. but we did manage to have some small catching up inside the NTUC. Then, they invited me to a bbq gathering that they were organising. Well, I was really surprise to see that they were still keeping close contact with one another.. which i dun normally do with my frens.. Anyway, I am really glad that they invited me. So, today I went to meet them up after my facial spa session. geez.. i shouldnt do my facial on this day, as my face was reddish after the blackhead extraction. anyway, after much concealer, i went pasir ris to meet up with the gals. Well... it was still not as bad as i thought, i thought i will have a hard time clinch in after so long.. appartently they were still the same kind, next-door-gals i knew when we were in sec sch. I had a bit of food, chat up w ling2, and A, and JM.. then we did some bridge card game. I was a bit regretted for not taking any pix, this is the only pix i took -- Tif's cute doggie! woof!

What to do now..?

What to do now..? what to do now..? I am coming to an end of my second year here in NTU.. here in RRC.. My boss came over to talk to me early this morning. He begun by requesting me to write a progress report. An exaggerating one, he emphasized. And for a moment, my mind blanked out. I got nothing to write I thought to myself. ... And before I could think of anything, he popped another difficult question -- "What is your career plan?", he asked. It was a rather heart-to-heart talk in the morning. I told him that I did think about it.. but have never come to an decision. I felt really stupid for not taking up any postgrad study... and I really know that I just can't continue as a Project Officer forever without advancing or moving on. But if I wanna move, which i really want to, but where to move on to ? I told him that studying is one option, working at a different sector is also another choice. I dun get what he meant, but he did offer me another yr of contract and said tt it is alright for me to stay. Yet, for my good he also suggest me to move on by studying a part time.So what shall i do? what shall i do now? or rather, what can i do now?

geez... and i still have this stupid progress report to write. Feeling really lousy now. ='(

Furama Crisis..

I have to wake up real early to attend a conference held by mae.. and that conference was held in Furama hotel. I really don't know my way manz, and I was late for the meeting up with other rrc ppl.. so geez.. I have to find my way there by myself. Alright, so I recalled Prof S and Joey mentioned it to be near the ministry of manpower.. and that Chinatown mrt is near to the hotel.. so.. I boarded a bus that took me to Chinatown.. to Furama. I thought that i was so smart to ask the bus uncle.. and the friendly bus driver had called me to alight when I reached the stop. However, it was when I reached the Furama hotel that I realised that there were 2 Furama. One is Furama Centre, the other is Furama RiverFront..

So appartently, I was at the wrong furama.. aaaaahhhhhhh.. and the counter-uncle told me to walk all the way down the street and I can find Furama Riverrfront. And so I did. With high heels.. and scorching morning sun, I perspired and stinked.. =S =(... It took me like 30 minutes to walk from one furama to another... .. there goes my beautiful morning. .. nahz.. nevertheless I reached the Furama riverfront 15 mins before the tea break. Oh.. and I saw YangL.. the nus gal that I met at my NZ conference. She is presenting at this conference too. Cool, she is so impressive. And suddenly i felt totally incompetent... eps after the whole incident... geez

Farewell lunch from Sreekanth

Sreekanth is going back to India this month.. that is why he is giving boss and us a treat at this nice cosy indian restuarant at Penisular Plaza. It really one nice indian eating place without any indians' oil smell.. and the food were not that spicy. It is buffet styled which mean I can just try a bit of the food that i'd never seen before.. just too bad that they didn't serve my favorite spinach thingy dish =S... nahz.. but nevermind lahz.. cuz i thought i had learnt more Indian food thru this meal... =) I was glad that Prof S brought his daughter here too.. =) at least there is one more girl around to talk to me.. =P

Old Friends...

Guess who I met tonight, Fri the thirteen..? alright i guess that this was a bit hard.. because I myself didnt expect myself to see them too.. Anyway, while i was playing pool with some of colleagues after work, I met Decai and Beng.. my college's classmates ... but it was rather sad because we didnt catch up much.. because they were with their friends and I was with mine.. so yup.. we only say hi.. then short conversation.. then bye.. =( .. Beng, as usual.. didnt talk to me at all.. geez. I started to wonder if i had done anything wrong to him or is he purely a shy guy. Anyway.. I tried to sms them after that to apologise for not be able to catch up w them.. but geez.. I realised tt i dun have their no. anymore.. =S .... shit.. i must be very bad at keeping contacts with my old friends manz..

Transformers...

The Transformers.. more than meet the eye..
The Transformers.. robots in disguise..

Alright.. i am not a transformer fanatics, but hey.. how can i miss such a great show (esp when i am suppose to be a geek) ? Anyway, I went to catch the show on friday with a couple of friends and I thought it was really a good show.. its CG is pretty fantastic, sound effects were cool too.. and whole movie was action-packed and fun to watched.. umm.. quite cheesy at some part though... But nahz.. it is still a good show. Just that it was rather long.. or is it becuz i had a bad bladder sys..? cuz towards the end of thirty minutes, I started looking at my watch and eyeing the toilet sign near the entrance... I was seated right at the end of the row.. and the sound effect of the movie is so loud that it vibrate the whole theatre.. and that the theatre was so cold.. I FELT like peeing.. arrg.. Anyway.. i stayed through the whole movie dry.. but I kinda missed out why on earth that the Megatron would suddenly die..? =S.. so did the boy pushed in the cube into Optimus Prime? i think i missed that part manz.. while thinking of going to loo..

Dengue..

A friend.. or rather .. a close colleague of mine, boon, was down with dengue fever.. I was really surprised because he is really tough looking.. big size guy.. well, guess we shall never look down on small little insect like mosquito.. Anyway, some of us went down to NUH to pay a visit to him.. This is the first time I went to a hospital w colleagues.. anyway.. it is really dreadful to see how sickness can attack a person, and how one can be so vunerable before disease. :(

Chilling out @ East Coast

While I was still distressing with the 'what to do next?' question... many of my friends had shown their concerns. I am really really grateful and thankful for them. Well, then ysl suggested a chill out at east coast.. i had no objection.. cause i really dun wanna think anymore.. i had been thinking and thinking a lot recently..
Nahz.. nevertheless, it was a very nice place to loosen up a bit.

ARPC's Mother's Day event 2007

Well, i had brought my dad and mum to the Mother's day event this year again, however this year my sister didn't come along. I thought i would be sucked in making my dad and mum comfortable on my own, but well.. in the end, it turned out well.

My dad and mum had really enjoyed themselves, though the others who sat around the table didn't really talk much, and there was this stuck up looking auntie.. who kept staring at me causing my mum to keep telling me to behave myself. Nahz... anyway, I guessed it was the good foods and good gifts, with a little nice songs, help a lot in making the whole event enjoyable. This time they organise it at a good restaurant - Qian Xi (Farrer Park) Restaurant - in the Civil Service Club.. so well, my dad was rather pleased, so this time round, he did sat there and listen to the sharing without uttering some chants under his breath.

The message was.. to me.. not good at all. Nah, but the people who came to share the message had encouraged me a lot. At least they reminded me that God is still at work. To my mum, she was overwhelmed and felt really glad that these ex-drug addicts can turn a new leaf. My dad too was touched by their sharing. In the end, the message that they gotta back was that the love of a mother is really great... and nothing much of God and Jesus. I tried to talked to my dad more, since he was quite opened today. The discussion ended soon with relativism. geez...

Nevertheless, that was a good outing.. i see it as a way where the walls are broken down little by little.

Concert @ the Esplandar

This night I went out on a date with my fellow colleague, F_Goh. A nice shy guy. But i think he really know what I like too. He gotta a pair of tickets to a concert in Esplandar. Though I don't know who the singer is, the going to Esplandar is just too appealing to me. So, I said yes immediately when he asked me four days ago. Geez, I am really weak in resisting things that i like.

Nevertheless, the date went well, i thought. The singer turned to be Deb Fung, an Australian gospel singer. She is of the same genre as Corrinne May. Geez, I love Corrinne May's songs, so i think i will also like her songs. And it is true enough, her songs were very nice too. As her songs, like Corrinne May's, do carry some gospelic messages, that is why, there were several moments in the concert that I have to fight back my tears. I am rather an emotion person, especially when it comes to the light that seem so dim in the current darkness, yet so true.

This is one of the songs that drive me to tears (no matter how i'd fought.. geez just hope that F_goh didnt see it) during the concert:

Home (Written and sang by Deb Fung)
Oh the fight to belong
I'd walk the wire and pretend to be strong
Deny that still small voice in me
Reminding me I'm already set free

To find that peace in my soul
When pain and pressure seem the ones in control
Though Justice falls in the streets
And lies and oppression are the forces we meet

Oh how I long to be home
Like all creation aches and groans waiting
Renewed forever to be
Sharing in the beauty of my Father's eternity
Oh how I long to be home
When shadows fless and I am never alone
If I could just find the strength to believe
The promise of the place you've set for me

Oh the fight to be true
When this world places the spotlight on you
What is the price of a dream
The weight of choices remaining unseen?

Fear not my love, I will come
A day's appointed, yet known by no one
I'll raze the past to the ground
And gather you home where you'll be safe and sound

Oh how I long to be home
Like all creation aches and groans waiting
Renewed forever to be
Sharing in the beauty of my Father's eternity
Oh just to be in that place
Where I can reach out and touch your face
To see the strength of your light
As it pierces the darkness turning faith to sight
If I could just find the strength to believe
The promise of the place you've set for me
The place you've set for me
The place you've set for me

Met up with sixian..

In the buzzingly Clementi Central, we were looking for our favourite Chinese rice stall from the past. It was drizzling slightly. But it felt so warm to catch up with a long time ago good friend. We didnt find the Chicken rice, so we settled down in Mac and talked. We talked about everything and anything.. from the past to now.. of what we had missed out with one another for one year.

She had just finished her study. And in Perth, she grew a lot.. in minds and thoughts. She said she shared about me while in Perth, of how I had encouraged her. I smiled at her but sighed deeply within. The heart was heavy, for it knew something that she doesnt. But her words had encouraged this contrited heart. "At least, he is still with her", i breathed.

Then we talked about work. Working in the world is tough, I told her, because you are in the world but not of the world. When the rest sleep in the dark, we need to stay awake and be watchful.. This is tiring... and soon, in the end.. we may be like everybody else.. taking nap or even fall into deep sleep when the night comes. Working is different from schooling.. there is more.

But well.. we dun need Work to help us to sleep in the nights. Many things can make us asleep in nights.. many things. You can name many since sleeping at night is a common thing. Yet there is one thing that keep us awake in the night - and some of us had guessed correctly - the light. Some of us thought that we can just burn a midnight's oil and then go without sleeping over many nights.. without realising that we need to keep the oil burning. And there are some stupid and selfish oil distributors dun go around to check if anyone is lacked of oil or not. Sigh!

Geez.. what am i talking now..? does anyone understand what i meant?
Anyway.. it is quite distressing, because Darryl is now out of oil. He denounced.

Xmas Cake Theory...

Geez... I think I am having more dates this valentine. And according to the xmas cake theory, I am accepting these dates because "this" is xmas' eve. LOL... well.. nevertheless, it is good fun catching up with those long-time-no-see guy friends.. ops not forgetting the gal friends too. =)

In the end...

Time is such a valuable thing
Yet clock ticks it away.. it's so unreal
Trying to hold on.. but didn't even know..
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time.

I tried.. so hard.. so much..
It doesn't even matter anymore.

Cuz things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore.
Not that you knew me back then..
But it all comes back to me... in the end.

Back in Singapore..

I am now sitting in front of my computer in lab.. looking thru the photos that i had taken in nz and aust.. and i am feeling nostalgic!

Aarrgg.. I dun wanna to be back and faced my work.. my boss.. myself and my future. I just wanna go from one place to another.. from dawn to dusk.. looking and experiencing different things and no need to think of anything..

Can I...?

I guess I ain't brave enuf...

Xmas Greetings from Sydney

Merry Christmas.. :) I am at Sydney now. Just went to the St Andrew's Cathedral in Sydney for Christmas Service. And now I am roaming around in the streets of Sydney. This city is big and beautiful too. But i think i still prefer the nz's wellington.. well.. dunno why. :P. anyway.. will update more.

Back to the north island..

I am back to the north island now.. had been down to Christchurch 3 days ago, but was busy that I could not sit down and write my blog.. Now, I am in Rotorua.. just managed to hack their computer.. so am using free internet now, when i am suppose to pay $5 per hour... =p
Well.. the journey so far had been fun.. but tiring and cold. In Christchurch, i had met an irish gal, but we didnt tour tog cuz i had my tour booked already. I went to Lake Tekapo and Mt cook on Sunday, it was beautiful. Then for the first time in my life, I took a helicopter up to the snow site at one of the mountain near Mt Cook. It was so so so cool.

Then the next day, I checked out real early to catch the coach to Kaikoura. Done whale watching.. it is fabulous too. The whale watch crew will actually use sonar to find the locations of the whale, and speed to the location once they had detected a whale near the surface. The whole boat ride is like a roller coaster.. exciting. =)

I was back in the north island yesterday, and toured around Taupo this morning alone. Met the Korean guy that I saw yesterday and we took some pic together at Huka Fall. He was very unfortunate though, he was sharing his story with me yesterday about how he was being cheated by a gal that he knew in Auckland..

Well.. thereafter.. I came to Rotorua. The weather is not good today. It rained thru out the whole day, and the temp here is damn cold.. 13 deg.. manz I am so regretted of not bring my gloves. Tomorrow, I will be going to the spa and farm and moari concert.. hope that the weather will be good.. and hope that i can do all the above stuff ba.

So far in New Zealand..

Well.. so far so good. I am at Wellington's Downtown Backpackers Hostel right now. Only have less than 10 mins to type this blog.. gosh!

anyway, my trip so far was good. The conference went well, and the motel's boss had taken good care of the people staying in his motel.. all the people are very friendly.. Known a lot ppl at the conf.. taken lotsa pictures too..

After the conf, I went down Wellington on my own.. so from now onwards, I had to travel on my own.. stay in hostel.. and plan my own trip.. exciting!

Today at wellington, I know a denmak gal, and we went touring tog. We had went to the Te Papa Museum where we met up w another Israel lone gal traveller.. then we three of us went to Mt Victoria tog.. and then I left earlier to take the red cable car up to the Botanic Garden.. Well, I have to say Wellington is beautiful.. really really beautiful, but very very very windy and cold at the same time.

Tomorrow I will be heading to the south island. Going to Christchurch. Well i guess my this trip will not be too action-packed... it will be more of city stuff and sceneries i guess.. :) Well.. looking forward to christchurch.. w a bit of fear!

yeah..!

horray!! The paper is being accepted by the conference... I will be going to New Zealand in december !!.. umm.. preharps I shall also plan to tour there right.. But till then.. there is a lot of work to be done - the correction on the paper, tons of admin work, preparation of the upcoming training course.. Gosh! i dun even know if i would have time to plan for the trip manz.. How i wish that there will be someone to go with me.. hahah.. and do the planning.. =P

dramatic..

gosh.. what a dramatic weekend! It ought to be a normal peaceful saturday, where a bunch of ARPC gals and boys met up for ktv and simple dinner. Well... the ktv session went well, though it was with unfamiliar group, i still hog onto the mic most of the time. nahz.. but this is not what i wanna share. What happened is that, i had also invited C****t**e, one of my dg gal, to join us for the ktv. And she had had a terrible incident on thurs, which led on to Fri and also today. She found out that her landlord is a pervert! yuck.. even though he is eighty odd yrs old. The maid told her about the perversive acts of the 'gong gong' on thurs and today, the 'gong gong' is sacking her and sending her back to her hometown. So the poor maid called after our ktv asking for help.
Thereafter, we skipped our dinner and went straight to the police station and file a report against the 'gong gong' so that the police could do something to protect the maid.. well. Thank God that pat was around. To the cops, this was too small a case for them to bother.. but pat was so vocal that the police can't help but to help us.. After the police report.. the ktv gang went along to C's rented place to help packed her stuff. Sis had offered her to stay at our place.. so yup.. i rushed home cleared up my 'barang barang' and prepare for her coming instead. geez.. what a long tiring day after this whole lot.