Xmas Greetings from Sydney

Merry Christmas.. :) I am at Sydney now. Just went to the St Andrew's Cathedral in Sydney for Christmas Service. And now I am roaming around in the streets of Sydney. This city is big and beautiful too. But i think i still prefer the nz's wellington.. well.. dunno why. :P. anyway.. will update more.

Back to the north island..

I am back to the north island now.. had been down to Christchurch 3 days ago, but was busy that I could not sit down and write my blog.. Now, I am in Rotorua.. just managed to hack their computer.. so am using free internet now, when i am suppose to pay $5 per hour... =p
Well.. the journey so far had been fun.. but tiring and cold. In Christchurch, i had met an irish gal, but we didnt tour tog cuz i had my tour booked already. I went to Lake Tekapo and Mt cook on Sunday, it was beautiful. Then for the first time in my life, I took a helicopter up to the snow site at one of the mountain near Mt Cook. It was so so so cool.

Then the next day, I checked out real early to catch the coach to Kaikoura. Done whale watching.. it is fabulous too. The whale watch crew will actually use sonar to find the locations of the whale, and speed to the location once they had detected a whale near the surface. The whole boat ride is like a roller coaster.. exciting. =)

I was back in the north island yesterday, and toured around Taupo this morning alone. Met the Korean guy that I saw yesterday and we took some pic together at Huka Fall. He was very unfortunate though, he was sharing his story with me yesterday about how he was being cheated by a gal that he knew in Auckland..

Well.. thereafter.. I came to Rotorua. The weather is not good today. It rained thru out the whole day, and the temp here is damn cold.. 13 deg.. manz I am so regretted of not bring my gloves. Tomorrow, I will be going to the spa and farm and moari concert.. hope that the weather will be good.. and hope that i can do all the above stuff ba.

So far in New Zealand..

Well.. so far so good. I am at Wellington's Downtown Backpackers Hostel right now. Only have less than 10 mins to type this blog.. gosh!

anyway, my trip so far was good. The conference went well, and the motel's boss had taken good care of the people staying in his motel.. all the people are very friendly.. Known a lot ppl at the conf.. taken lotsa pictures too..

After the conf, I went down Wellington on my own.. so from now onwards, I had to travel on my own.. stay in hostel.. and plan my own trip.. exciting!

Today at wellington, I know a denmak gal, and we went touring tog. We had went to the Te Papa Museum where we met up w another Israel lone gal traveller.. then we three of us went to Mt Victoria tog.. and then I left earlier to take the red cable car up to the Botanic Garden.. Well, I have to say Wellington is beautiful.. really really beautiful, but very very very windy and cold at the same time.

Tomorrow I will be heading to the south island. Going to Christchurch. Well i guess my this trip will not be too action-packed... it will be more of city stuff and sceneries i guess.. :) Well.. looking forward to christchurch.. w a bit of fear!

yeah..!

horray!! The paper is being accepted by the conference... I will be going to New Zealand in december !!.. umm.. preharps I shall also plan to tour there right.. But till then.. there is a lot of work to be done - the correction on the paper, tons of admin work, preparation of the upcoming training course.. Gosh! i dun even know if i would have time to plan for the trip manz.. How i wish that there will be someone to go with me.. hahah.. and do the planning.. =P

dramatic..

gosh.. what a dramatic weekend! It ought to be a normal peaceful saturday, where a bunch of ARPC gals and boys met up for ktv and simple dinner. Well... the ktv session went well, though it was with unfamiliar group, i still hog onto the mic most of the time. nahz.. but this is not what i wanna share. What happened is that, i had also invited C****t**e, one of my dg gal, to join us for the ktv. And she had had a terrible incident on thurs, which led on to Fri and also today. She found out that her landlord is a pervert! yuck.. even though he is eighty odd yrs old. The maid told her about the perversive acts of the 'gong gong' on thurs and today, the 'gong gong' is sacking her and sending her back to her hometown. So the poor maid called after our ktv asking for help.
Thereafter, we skipped our dinner and went straight to the police station and file a report against the 'gong gong' so that the police could do something to protect the maid.. well. Thank God that pat was around. To the cops, this was too small a case for them to bother.. but pat was so vocal that the police can't help but to help us.. After the police report.. the ktv gang went along to C's rented place to help packed her stuff. Sis had offered her to stay at our place.. so yup.. i rushed home cleared up my 'barang barang' and prepare for her coming instead. geez.. what a long tiring day after this whole lot.

New born gal.. Samatha Ruth ;)

Welcome to earth.. Samatha..!

Well.. she is Janice and Carlen's first baby gal.. and my dear janice gave birth to her yesterday. I went to visit her today and was glad to see that everything was fine and well. And, can see that this young dad and mum were well prepared for her arrival. Well.. I had stayed there for quite long to take pictures.. and take many pictures.. well and also to learn a bit of how to take care of baby when the doctor is teaching the young parent. Although Janice said that child-bearing process was not that difficult, because she couldn't feel anything after the anaesthesia, I still think it really require great courage and love to want to give birth.. and to raise up a kid. Nah.. nevertheless.. I am very happy and feel amazing to see new birth.. esp newborn of someone i knows.

KL Adventure...

Just went and came back from a short KL trip.. It's was どうも おもしろ!! .. very interesting. Alright, you may call me 'mountain tortoise' but that was really my very first time to travel alone with my sis in this manner.. so i was really excited and hence this is going to be a farely long post.. ermm bear w it manz..

So, we reached KL at 4 am on the 23 Aug, and had to walk along the lamppost-lit streets to look for our hotel, and get familarise with the place. I had to admit tt it was a bit scary, but at the same time i was relieved that i had my sis w me. =) and thankfully there was quite a number of 7-11 around, so we had been asking around before we found our hotel. The attender, however, told us that the earliest time we can book in was 9 am. =S.. so we decided to roam around the street again, to kill time while waiting for dawn. Umm.. to be precise, was to wait for the first bus.

We planned to go to Batu Cave on our first morning. So yup, at around 6, we hopped on a KL public bus no. 15. The bus was not as bad as i had thought. It was air-conditioned and clean surprisingly. It took about 45 mins to bring us to the cave. And wow.. nice beautiful hill and ya huge golden statue too.. There was a 273-steps long stairway tt lead to the cave entrance, so we climbed it, and went into the cave and yup took some pic. The climbing down the stairs was a more scary experience. Anyway, we got down and headed back town at around 10am.

Then we went into a museum, by chance, before we went back and checked in to our hotel. After checking in, we took a long walk to somewhere near Lot 10 shopping centre, trying to find the food tt my sis insisted. In the end, we found e place after an hour of walk, just to see that it was not opening for business. nahz.. then we walked back and took a LTR to KLCC to queue up for a visit up to the Petronas Tower. But it was fruitless too. They only give out 1400 tickets every morning. Disappointedly, we lunched at their foodcourt b4 we headed back hotel. I was down w fever in the evening then, so we decided to postpone the firefly trip to e next day, and LRT-ed down to mid-valley mall instead, and had dined at an indian restuarant.

The second day is more packed, because what we planned to do on the 1st day were all postponed to e 2nd day. We woke up late, so we were rushing to wash up and prepare for checking out... had a quick breakfast and LRT-ed down to KLCC to queue up for the tickets to get up Petronas Tower. Well.. we were very very lucky! we had gotta the last 2 tiks to go up the skybridge!! Cool.. but have to wait till 245pm. So, meanwhile, we LRT-ed up to Wangsa Manju to visit my ex-colleague, and he treated us lunch and drove us to his sch to take a look. Then, we gotta back to KLCC, and yup went up the Petronas. Sis was really disappointed, cuz she thought tt the bridge is going to move up and down. Well, it was just an ordinary bridge on the 41st level and we can only stay there for 10 mins, nevertheless, i was still glad to have gone up.

Lastly, we went to the KL central and bought 2 train tickets to go home that night at 10pm. yippee.. i was going to take a train. But meanwhile, we still have the firefly resort to visit. So got on a bus and travelled 2&1/2 hrs to reach a deserted bus interchange in selangor. Scary. We asked a lady and she said we need to take a cab, and led us to a bunch of taxi uncles. More scary. We went forward, and ask the uncles.. gosh, they dun understand Eng at all. But they managed to pick up key words like 'firefly', so one uncle offered us a ride there w a cab fare of RM20. We agreed.

Thanks God that we were able to reach the resort safely.. That place was really 'wu-lu' manz but the resort was not bad. =) We quickly got the boat tickets to see the fireflies, and the earliest was 745 pm. It was a 30 mins boat ride that brought us across the lake to the trees where the fireflies were. There were a group of Japanese tourists with us, and they were all exclaming ' きれい'.. ' すごい' Well.. my sis and i were really amused, and were also exclaming in our hearts 'きれい' (beautiful) and 'すごい' (incredible). The fireflies really looked like christmas lights that blinked inside the trees in the total darkness; occasionally one or two will fly towards us, and plus the boat ride, the whole experience was すごい.

But, this firefly trip caused us to miss our train back to S'pore. We even almost miss the bus back to KL. that's really scary then. But we were fortunated to be able to take a different bus to Klang, and there we followed a stranger to the Klang train station and rushed back to KL central. We missed the train. So we decided to sit there at the station till morning so tt we can get some bus back to s'pore. From midnight till 7 am, that night was really hard to spend manz. We were really tired but couldnt really sleep, because there were some guys hanging ard the station like us too. In the end, we went to a 24 hours prata shop and played hangman throughout the night.

Gosh.. we really missed home after that. So, as soon as morning break, we went to purchase the earliest ticket home. In summary, this had been an interesting, exciting but tiring trip. Thankfully, that everything went well.

Forbidden City Musical @ Esplanade

This is the first time i watched a performance in Esplanade.. well.. it is expensive but i think it is worth it.. because the musical was the forbidden city : the protrait of the empress. It was so cool. They used simple props on stage.. but with the lightings and arrangements, the whole stage depicted each scene well.. in fact very well and dynamics. You dun feel that they are changing the scene.. (unlike some other musicals that i had seen, they would switch off the light when changing scenes.) The whole performance was fabulous too.. Costumes were very nice, songs were good and catchy, and Kit Chan sang well. Well.. but i think that the foreign talents sang better..:P.. hee.. they were more powerful and they sounded more 'round' compare to the asians. Nevertheless, it was very nice and fun experience to watch a musical in such a nice threate.. esp with di*n*(didi) and her friend 'yy'. As 'didi' is a good choir singer herself, she had given me quite a number of insights to musical performance.. and hee.. thanks to 'yy'.. we had a cool chill out treat from him at the oriental hotel after the performance.. Geez.. the nightscape of Singapore is beautiful... well hope that there is more such musical outing in near future..

Some Updates

Alright.. I know that this is late... i just gotta so many things to do at work these few days few weeks that I can’t really sleep tight each night.. let alone writing blog and editing the photos. So over this post. I will just give a brief overview of some part of my life these few days few weeks. Gosh!.. i sounded like i am writing a report. =S

Anyway.. yup.. Work is never ending. I thought everything was going to end on the 28 of July since that day was the final presentation for my project. So i had been rushing my presentation and reportS , as if i was in hell, a few days before the dateline and what do i have in the end was more work to be done. Sigh! Nevertheless, it was a relief to me that the project is coming to an end.. sooon.. and this shall act as a motivation for me to continue in work.. nahz.. I shall not be too grumpy about work.. rather, i shall be thankful ahz.. at least i had a job that earn me some allowances, flexible working hours, do the things that i like.. more importantly, able to keep in contact of all my uni frens.. =)

Yup.. see i gotta attend their convocations and take photos with them, simply because I was working in sch.. =)



But nahz.. i didnt go to all the convo.. i had only attened **n's, tyc's, and pauline's.. =p.. i was quite busy w my work though. This week was also my project's datedue week. The 'des-ta' guy will be coming down for a final review of my work. So i need to prepare a presentation, touch up and print out my final report, and test report and user manual, and prepare a soft copy of all the documents and my codes, and do up the demonstration.. arrrhhh.. so was real stressssed-up during the last few days.

But well.. everything had went well..thank God. I still can't believed i had managed to do so many things in a few days, given to my lazy character. So, yup the photo-taking that day was like a reward to me loz..lol.


Another reward-ish outing to me was the KTV outing on the 29 Jul. umm.. read more about it in the post down there ba.. I dun like to lenghten this post =p.. lol
So that's it.. =) =) heeez..

yippee.. ktv..

It had been a very very long time since i stepped into a ktv lounge.. The partyworld in orchard still look the same, just the company i went with this time is so different manz. This is the first time i went ktv with more guys than gals.. ha.. so no problem singing duets but nahz,i didnt sing much duet.. duh. Anyway, the organiser is unexpectedly, our dear *n*. It's unexpecting, because she dun sing. Nevertheless, she organised this for our prc friends (which explains why there were more guys than gals), so that we can catch up with them before their school starts.

We had been reaching out to them since the last few years, and it is never easy due to the lack of manpower and 'man'power. Going out with them as a big group is always easy and fun.. but the getting down to know them individual and be part of their life is the tough part, it req'd great discernment esp for us gals.. that's y we go in pair or herd.. crap! what am i talking..? =S =S

Anyway, what i wanna say is that we were quite glad that we had a brother with us to talk to the other ten odd guys during the lunch-cum-ktv outing. Well.. i dunno k**** that well, so dunno what's his plan when he is going to be here for one yr... but at least for me, I really hope that i wouldnt have another wasteful yr here.. not that i'd wasted my this year in ntu.. just that, i felt a bit regreted of spending more time talking to BASIC and busying w my work, rather than being with my chinese friends.. hope that this yr will be a better year.

S1 Gathering...

Thanks to Hooi’s initiative, S1 got to meet up for dinner tonight. It had been a long time since this JC class of mine get together. Though some of us were in the same uni, the chances of meeting up for meals was just too slim manz... Nai.. nevertheless, it is always good to meet up with old friends.. catching up with one another.. talking and laughing at the past together, and suaning each another.. =p

Well about half of the class turned up.. most of the gals are teachers now.. umm.. maybe using ‘most’ is too much.. only emily, janet and waiyi became a teacher, the rest of the gals were in other different jobs... Guys were still the same, i think.. i felt that there were not much changes in them... umm.. they are still schooling ... still sit at a different table as the gals... hahaha.. and their way of talking are still the same..

Then after dinner I got to talk to some of them more over drinks.. just to realize that the guys do changed.. They had changed to be more materialistic since the topic we had revolve around how to be a millionaire by the age of forty.. duhz.. well.. I was trying my best not to be influenced by the topic.. 怎么说.. i had go thru the phase of fighting the g-monster.. dun wanna go thru it again..

But oh well .. from what my senior working adults friends had said, it was a norm for the fresh grad coming in the workforce w the intention of getting rich by a certain age.. but as years goes by.. the drive for making big bucks will subsided.. umm.. i wondered how true was that.

...ぅさ...

も.. sore eye.. と... myojo mee... と fever.. と ひとりで... と interview てきがかり
も.... I miss my sister...

aaarrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg............

...... ... ... wwwwwaaaahhh

... Children church...?

After the camp, I got to know more children church's helpers.. and so.. I had been invited to go down and take a look.. umm... but i had been delaying the going down to cc until today..

Today was the first time i dragged myself up, and headed church before 9.. haiz.. but i am still late.. =S.. nevertheless.. i was there in time to help out a bit lahz.. hee... well.. my after thoughts attending cc.. umm.. the toddlers are very nice to cuddle.. =P.. very nice to be with.. cuz they are really soft.. and being w them.. i not need to think so much.. and geez.. can continue to act cute.. hahaha =p... nahz.. but i still prefer study bible with people.. =S.. arrgg... *scratch hair* ... should one do what one like.. or to do wherever help needed? haiz.. stop thinking ba.. =p

We were going to the zoo...

On my.. can u believe that..? I went to the Singapore Zoological garden that faithful saturaday. Haahaha.. yahz it was such a long time ago since I stepped into this northern garden of singapore. And guess what..? I rode an elephant for the first time.. yipppee.. *excited*.. but well it just a short little ride lahz.. ummm then beside that, oh and also beside the company.. there is nothing much to the zoo.. the animals were living in such a luxury that they looked really lazy.. nevertheless we took quite a number of pic ahz...

Of a Bygone Era...

This was the first themed party i had with the ARPCians. It was so nostalgical to be in such party, where some bunch of ppl get together and have fun, food and fellowship with one another. I started to miss the good old days and friends like tree, grace, char, gf and others who would make the effort to make party for ppl to get tog.

Well, anyway i was glad to had gone for this party, and with my sis some more. It was fun, i thought, cuz all ppl were really opened to one another, at least people are not talking among themselves and left the strangers alone. I dunno about sis (cuz we hanged out w diff ppl), but i, being a stranger there, had really enjoyed myself..

Hope that this friendship will start to grow, from there, to love and concern for one another in church ba...

p.s. Btw, it was retro-themed.. doesnt look like it huh..?

Everyone = mission-centre christian ..

oh gosh.. time really flies.. One year had actually passed and this was my second time going for a church camp with ARPC. A few things had changed, i guessed.. like I am now a member of ARPC when i wasnt last year, I paid 300 dollars this year, while i only paid 200 last year and i had known more people before going to the camp compared to last year when my sis and i knew no one before the camp..

However, the camp was still as いちばん (yichiban） as last year. Like what Chris Chia had mentioned last camp and this year again, it was a glimpse of heaven, a taste of honey where God's people gathered together to listen to God's word, praising God together and enjoyed the fellowship as brothers and sisters in Christ.. If u do read my blog abt last year's camp, u would realised that i had just said the same thing.. well.. hear this again cuz i am going to say the same old thing again: Christianity is indeed about relationships : r'ship b/w God and man, man and woman & man and nature. This time however, the camp focused on our relationship with God in view of his saving plan and our relationship with God's world which is still full of ppl who suppressed the truth of the God who create earth and heaven.

We had have 2 guest speakers.. John Chapman and Ian Smith. This was the first time i ever hear from Ian Smith, and I found him really firm in his speaking and I had learnt much from him. He had taken some passages from Acts to explain the centripetal and centrifugal movements of the early church wrt the Pentacost gospel events. Meanwhile our dear old Chappo brought us to see how the Trinity are involved in the salvation of the world.

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth. (Acts 1:8)

And as usual, Chris ended the camp with 2 talks; i thought that the first talk had really cut deep in my heart, for he had taken us to understand our globalising society (or rather world). We shall be different from this world - when the world is united to progress individually, materially and godlessly, we are to united to grow deeply in Christ and in love; when the world is divided by the difference in color, status, education and gender, we are to be blind to these differences and embrace a borderless church (My own summary).

What a shame i had felt when i sat there and listened to Chris - What a shame that we had to be rebuked this manner to realise that we have not been loving the world enough to be blind to the differences. We, or at least I, always prefer to hang out with the people similar to ourselves, in term of race, religion, socio-status, looks and gender (maybe some like hanging out w opp gender, but i prefer gals =P).. Hence now.. after the camp, i was sorry and thankful at the same time.. sorry for the subtle discrimination i had shown for the past years, that's why am very grateful that God do forgive.. So what is left to do now, is to go forth with love. Many names had popped out of my head during the camp, and many things i wanted to do.. so, really hope that i could love enough to move myself to do it ah... aarrggg..

Long time no update...

Well.. it had been a long while since i blogged and i could find a reason for that long break (sorry for that).. could be busy i guessed ... but nahz.. nevertheless.. knowing that there are still people reading my blog, I shall at least keep my friends updated of my life now..

Well.. I had just came back from a church camp yesterday, and i will write an account for that later.. as for now, probably i will just record down here some stuffs that had happened to me past few months that i would want to remember... so bear with me manz if u are not interested reading what had happended to me a few weeks ago.. so all the following new posts are posted up today.. i just blogged them according to their dates so that i could remember them when years to come.

Mother's Day (cum Daddy's birthday) Dinner...

Umm.. so the most recent great thing, beside the church camp, was the Mother's day dinner.. well.. that day was my dad's birthday too; so me and my sister used this as an excuse, or rather reason, to invite both my dad and mum to the Mother's Day dinner organised by ARPC Chinese ministry (of course we did tell them that this is a Christian event, and there will be a person preaching).

It was such a rare occasion that my dad and mum actually agreed to go out together.. (well they have some problem w one another) and a miracle for them to sit through and listened to a sermon about Jesus Christ. Though dad and mum didnt respose to the message, I see it as a beginning.. at least now dad didnt flared up and this would imply to me that there will be more chance for me to talk to him about Christianity.

Toothache...

Then well... one dramatic incident that had happened to me was that i lost a tooth on the 18 April. My left jaw was swollen over the weekend before that and it was so pain that I could not think well... so without much consideration, I’d gotten a dentist to pluck out a wisdom tooth from my left jaw. I went to work the next day and gotten a fever after that. Then for the rest of the week, I could not sleep and eat because the scene of the dentist pulling out my tooth just kept floating in my head, and the pain really bugged me.

The most stupid part, however, was that the tooth that I’d extracted is not the tooth that is having problem; it is the one that is biting onto the one that have problem. What’s more, I continued to do stupid thing with my teeth - I went for another dentist in AH, and signed up for a surgery to get all the rest of my wisdom teeth out... Well, the surgery will be in June but I think I will probably postpone it. So, if u wishes, and can remember this, probably u can pray for me…

Baptism...

The next day that i wished to remember forever, is the day when i was baptised. It was on the 9th of April. And i was baptised with my sister, sarah, and many other believers. I am really glad that i am able to be baptised, and more, with my sister, who had just believed in Christ last year. Then, and now still, I was convicted that God saves, and will continue to save people into His kingdom, and I really hope that my parents may one day received Christ as their Lord too.

MM Conference 06

Just came back from the ministry matters conference. It was great to get together to listen to God's word in this manner. This is the second time I'd attended this conference, and I guessed the number was smaller this year but there were a handful of non-ARPCian like the BTPCians, ORPCians and some other CFers too, it was great know these B.A.S.I.C from different churches.

It was also an encouraging thing to see a number of youths there to learn more about christian ministry. We also gotten to know Helen (David's wife) there, when she led a workshop with the gals. She was such a soft-spoken and humble lady that after speaking to her, we were greatly influence by her gentleness. However after trying to speak softer and slower ourselves, we burst out laughing and surrendered. We just can't be soft-spoken manz, what a shame!

But well, this conference had served a great reminder and encouragement to me, especially when i had just made a decision of not to take up Masters last night. The decision making process had been tormenting me for months.. since Jan. I had been deciding if i shall take up a masters degree or not, looking at my boss's offer and the convenience that i am working in NTU.

I declined the offer evenually.. and to say that I am firm and feel no regret, it will be lying. However, God's word do bring me back to focus.. that i shall not build my confidenece upon my education rather my confidence shall be on Christ.. my identity shall be of Christ..

Wedding Day of TYC and Vera...

This day is the wedding day of a dearest brother-in-Christ (it is also my dearest sis's birthday), and I was the chinese emcee of the wedding; and thankfully, I gotta back my voice on the wedding day itself.

Yup.. I had a terrible sore throat a week before then, and had lost my voice on monday of that week. So I had gone for 2 doctors, and gotten 2 gargles (one was from my boss) and had been eating soupy stuffs and drinking all sorts of herbal tea just to get the voice back.. Manz.. thanks God for having my voice back such that i could sing and host for the wedding of tyc and vera.

Oh well..to talk more, I really appreciate this dear brother-in-christ, as it was this brother who dragged me to the CF-FOC so that I could be more involved in CF (i only go for music min in year one). Since then, I started to attend CF bible studies in yr 2. Then in yr 2 sem 2, he was the one who dragged (again) me to one of the CF's prayer meeting where there I was being introduced to and learnt and encouraged more from some new staff workers. I still remembered that the messages were taken from 1 Thessalonians.. teaching us what a real church is from the bible, and what is real Christian living is like. Not forgetting the time in SMU too.. i was influenced by him to attended a workshop in SMU, where i learnt how to read the bible in context.

Thereafter, I began to understand the christian faith more, and grew much (w the help of HS). I wondered if he knew it or not, there were a number of people who I am grateful for whenever I think about my faith and understanding now, and he is definitely one of them.

I guessed he had grew much too. From the way, his wedding was held, I was grateful that God had indeed worked in his and vera's life.. bringing them to grow well in the knowledge of our Lord and savior. And of course, not just the 2 of them, there are a number of us, when looking back, had grew much too. Though, there were still some disappointments, i guessed i still can trust God in working in the life of people.

i think i am crazy...

gotten cranky.. and pissed over some friendship issue. I think i had over re-acted and definitely over-emotioned.. Arrrggg.. and definitely handled it in a bad bad manner.. *sob* will try to forgive and be forgiven by the other party too.

Dear anonymous...

Dear anonymous, thanks u for making a comment in my blog.. i just wanna clarify my post a bit and also to share w u my belief... so sorry that it's going to be long..

First, i am not WHINING about holding joss-stick in my blog.. rather i am just sharing what's in my mind then, which was quite normal since i was at a wake, while i was there w tree.

i'm guessing that u are not a christian.. so u may not understand the struggle of us wanting to express our respect to the dead, whilst at the same time, knowing that worshiping the dead is wrong. I am posting that entry is NOT to express my disgust of joss stick or idols.. rather it's to express my concern and question that of being a christian who know that God is the only ever living being, who judges the living and the death when He comes again, how do i go about handling such issue..?

The 2 suggestions that u had given are definitely the best ones.. we should show our love and respect to the person while s/he is alive but not when s/he is dead.. we, compelled by God's love, should also find every opportunity to share Christ with the person in hope that God may have mercy and save the person from His judgment. We can't convert ppl.. only God does.

I am not worrying abt holding joss stick though since i know that God had forgiven us because of what Jesus did and not of what we do.. I am just worrying how the others will view Christianity and God thru our actions and words.. that's y i'm concern of whether holding joss stick would give ppl an impression that it is alright to worship the dead.. that's y.. to tell u frankly.. even right now.. i am hoping that this post would not cause u to have more misunderstanding or hatred with regard to God and christians.

Hope that u may at least understand that christians dun go around smashing idols or condemning people, we are of no postition to do that because we are not right, good and holy people. We are just sinners who recognised that we can't do everything right, can't love, even our close ones, with all our might, we came to see that we are self-centered, always want to do things our way... we are just a fallen being who recognised that no one, not even Christians, is perfectly good.. except God.

We are of no different from the non-christians.. except that we chose to trust in and live under a man who was here 2006 yrs ago.. who said that he is the Son of God, and he forgive all who believe in him and judge those who disregard him.. He mentioned, recorded in the bible, that all of us were dead ALREADY wo believing him.. and only him can give us life, so that we can know how to relate to people the way God intended us to relate.. (dead ppl can't relate to anyone) . So the core teaching of Christianity is not to do right things, it is not looking right, on for God, holy, spirtual or good.. no, the core is to love and relate w ppl patiently and lovingly.. which i personally find it real hard.

1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,but have not love, I gain nothing. (1Cor13: 1-3)

You may chose to believe tt u are not perfect now, the world is in a mess because ppl cannot love ppl.. but when He comes back again everything will be brought to perfection.

OR
u may choose to believe that u are perfectly good now.. able to relate well w all ppl.. patient and loving and dun need anyone to matter the way u live..

Your choice.

(I am so sorry, if i sound disputative.. and long... like i'd said, i am not perfect and i'm learning too.. If so, may u forgive me, and hope that u may want to find out more about this Jesus Christ.. As for my grandma.. just in case u want to know.. yup she had discharged from the hospital le.. we have been visiting her every now and then. Really thanks u for ur concern.. i really hope that u may leave ur name down so that we can know one another. )

Sad news dun come alone...

Read up tree's blog again last morning.. and realised that her grandma passed away. Sad.. very sad.. especially when i recalled how tree had tried to evangelized to her granny one year ago.. especially when i had saw this pleasant old lady during tree's farewell party 4 months ago.. especially when this hainanese granny reminded of my own grandma who is in the hospital now...

Gone to the wake later in the evening.. tree was strong, though she was grief-stricken. I wondered how would i be if i were her.. and also.. during the wake.. I am battling, in my minds, with the issue of going through the ritual.. shall i go thru the ritual without holding the joysticks, just being filial and respect.. or should i not participate it at all..? .. i couldnt come to a conclusion.. so probably will discuss this w my sis when the time comes ba.. =S

Hospital Visit...

I always hate going to hospital.. always. Hospital always put into me this melancholy moods and feelings which i really dislike.. I actually have to think hard of how to response and what to say when i am meeting the person in the hospital. Today was not an exception.

Granny was admitted to hospital again.. this time because of her weak heart, her kidneys are failing, and she couldnt control but to shit and pee wherever she goes. (Poor cousin mei, that she has to do all the cleaning up).. Doctor said that her heart may just stop anytime without any symptom.. That's so scary.. What is more, last night, cousin Ling is admitted to hospital too.. because she is giving birth to her child soon. So ya.. one happy occasion, the latter's not.

I visited cousin first (and of course gotta the above granny's condition from her), as i thought i could record or take some pics of the baby and show it to granny later, so that umm.. i gotta something to talk to granny later. Well, but that didn't help much i guess.. in the end i still struggle while talking to granny with my deteriorated hainanese (sad.. as i used to speak good hainanese =S )... and also struggle hard to find things to talk about with her. Nahz.. anyway.. after visiting them, the consequences and impacts of sin in this world just daunted me again.. u see new life born into a decaying world.. yet there is nothing i can do.. Well .. i really hope to tell them the gospel.. but lack of courage.. so i prayed, and depend on God's sovereignty and good timing... I will try to get the hainanese gospel, from one helpful couple in ARPC (=P forgotten their names), soon.. but really prayed that i may have the guts to play it for granny manz.. =S =S

Disappointment.. it brings about....

I went to the ARPC membership class with my sis yesterday. It was a half-a-day event which started at 9 and ended at 4. I was totally glad that i had gone for this class. It'd given me a chance to retreat and re-focus on God and his good will. Chris Chia had spent the whole day with us, reminding us again on who is Christ, what is he here for and who were/are us before the Lord... etc. I had learnt and reminded of many things.

One of the many things that P.Chris had said that truly stirred my heart and thoughts is really the part when he was explaining Christ as the suffering Messiah. When Jesus told his disciples that the Son of Man must suffer and must be killed, Peter brought him aside to rebuke Him. Then P.Chris said (paraphrased by me), "The Jews expected a political Messiah.. not a meek, suffering one, hence it brought great disappointment to the Jews, when Jesus kept saying that he must be killed."... Then he cont'd.. (also paraphrased by me) " you see, great disappointment brings about..? What do u think great disappointment brings about..?" He asked it many times, with his hands gesturing a wide gap in height, and I thought it was 'rebuking' in my head. "What do u think comes after disappointment..?" he asked again.. but this time he answered his own question, "it's rejection lah"

Oh.. at that moment, i thought how true was it. Then, as a typical Chris Chia, he went on explaining this from Jesus' context and with many many real-life examples.. But in my mind, many many such examples from my memories was flowing thru me... i was totally ashamed of myself then, of how i had been so indifferent towards, rather how i had rejected, my mum , my aunt and some of my friends just because of my disappointment in them. I felt a tingle of sadness for those who i had known too, who was rejected and rejected others due to disappointment. Then.. i see again.. how utterly sinful we are.. how great is God's mercy, and how much more we need to depend on God to love others..

Of course, the things that i had learnt yesterday is not just this.. there are other mind-provoking issues too.. so yup.. in overall, i am glad, despite having to wake up early, that i had gone for the membership class.

Romans 8...

This is a piece of summary on Romans 8, which i had written one year ago after i had studied it with Lincole's NIE group. Now looking back, I was really encouraged by how the Spirit had been working in me then.. helping me to understand the Word of God, and enabling me to have faith in Him. If it's not for the faith that had built up during the schooldays, I wouldnt be able to be reminded of and still trust in the existence of the KOH when i had started working and had seen the changes of my life and also that of my so many Christians brothers and sisters. In a while ago, i was still doubting if i am a Christian or not.. fearing that i am not the elected one.. i had seem to live a life that focus a lot on works and deeds.. and performances... i looked at myself.. i see me working hard, i looked ard i see ppl performing well. The humility of Christ seems forgotten.

Thanks God for the Spirit that dwells in me. It reminded me a lot.. rebuked me a lot.. caused me cried out and depended on the truth all the more. It had assured me that i am still a child of God, as there is no more condemnation. The basis of my salvation is not faith, all the more not works, the basis of salvation.. the basis of no condemnation is Christ, who had pay the price of sin once and for all. Amen. Now, in the 'not yet' domain, we struggled, just as how we are revealed to how Christ suffered, so that we can shared, what is revealed to us, the glory, the inheritance. May I be able to persereve and considered myself dead so that i can be alive in Christ... and be able to serve those in Christ too.

And now, this is the summary i had written one year ago..

After today's study of Romans, I am really convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

For there is no condemnation for those in Christ, because the Spirit had set us free, and that God had done what the law, weakened by flesh could not do. Because of what Jesus had done on the cross... the rightous requirement of the law can be fulfilled in us.. so that we can now 'obey the law'.. and be declared righteous, which we can't before Christ.

"For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God's sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous" ~ Romans 2:13

I am listening to Sarah Oh's song - Romans 8 as i am writing this now. A same understanding lingered.. Like this song had started, if we were to live our life, how are we to live now...? Upon being saved from God's wrath and assured an inheritance same as Christ, how are we to live now? Are we to live as one not saved or one that is saved? Are we to set the mind on flesh or to be led by the Spirit? Would we choose riches, the praises and acceptance of human beings, any possibility that our loneliness will end or will we choose Jesus... choose to allow God's Word to dwell us, choose to live a godly life?

"For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live" Romans 8:13

However, it's a sad sometimes, to see ourselves, Christians, trying to put to death the sinful deeds by ourselves, rather than BY the Spirit, trying to please God in the flesh... ends up crying every night, wondering are we right with God... fearing that we are not doing God's will... How long will it takes us to learn to depend on God..and be able to trust Him as our Father..? How long does it take us to understand the ability to become God's sons and the abilities to continue living as God's sons come from God Himself?

"14For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!"

By the Spirit, we would be the heirs of God and co-heirs of Jesus and this will mean that we suffer with Him.. in order that we may glorified w Him. But the suffering now is nothing as compared to the glory we then will all share.

To all.. suffering is not something very special... we, be it christian or non christian, we all suffered. We were like children borned and grew up in a prison, therefore we see that we are living in a normal world.. a world that suffering is always there.. and this is the only world we know.

But this is not the world that was first created, but one under judgment, the whole creation is subjected to suffer because the world is not in Eden now, and it's bond to decay. Therefore the whole creation is groaning loud... it's screaming to tell that it's NOT right.. it's NOT normal. It is groaning in the pains of childbirths.. well this tells us two things - one, childbirth is very painful... two, there is a new life awaiting.

Likewise, we christians will suffer, be it personal struggle with sins or physical sufferings with the world. But our response to suffering is not to ignore it, thinking suffering is not there until a natural disaster occur to wake us up. Neither to deal it in our way, by drawing up rules and regulations, or becoming a monk and nun or committing sucide.

The way to deal with suffering is to groan, like the world in birthpain and persevere... not of one without hope, but one with hope, because our hope is not one without basis but one that is based on the death and the resurrection of an historical being, Jesus of Nazareth. Moreover we have the Spirit to help us in our weakness, help us from being drawn away from God, help us to depend on God, and helps us to know that our God is a sovereign God and that whatever He had promised will come to pass.

With such great God on our side, who can be against us..? What more do we need?
Therefore, I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, the present nor the future, not height nor depth, not any power in all creation
not trial nor threat, not the worst case situation nor life nor death can take away the ones God had chosen, can separate us from the love of God which is demostrated by the death of Jesus. Amen.

On this coming monday, it could be my fifth and last time studying Romans 8 in NTU... in a school setting. As i had said earlier, i had learnt a lot in NTU.. and had made many good friends that could encouraged me in this walk of faith.. at the same time, many things had happened in school that discouraged me and confused me.. I guessed.. i really need to grow up now.. and learn to be led by the Spirit.. As for my basis, Christ is still it.

Jurong Bird Park...

Interesting.. i spent the rest of my new year's day in Jurong Bird Park. Thanks to *n*, and hamster and cat and of course my sis. Woken up by hamster in the afternoon, and he asked me the weirdest thingy that i ever heard when i'm just awaken - "wanna go bird park?" ..

And well, u know what is my answer.. Anyway.. though in the end we could only spend one hour there in the park (bcuz by the time, i wake up and prepare.. it was 4pm, excluding the travelling.. =S... ), it was still a fun trip. I had finally seen the waterfall.. yahz.. the supposely highest man-made waterfall in SEA..

Then.. it rained.. but well.. amazingly, that doesnt dampened the mood. When we finished the one hour walk in the park, we headed to the hilltop restuarant to eat.. then walked up the tower to take a hilltop view of the jurong island... Oh well.. fun and fruitful i would say to summarise this day, though a bit regret that it rained and that we didnt catch the sunset from the hilltop... anyway.. yup! that's still a good way to begin the first day of 2006.