Monday, August 29, 2005

Predictions cannot be proven...!

Finally my colleagues started talking about Christianity le.. but upon knowing that I am a Christian, the discussion didn't last very long. Hastily, the conversation ended with "when it comes to religion, it is very hard to talked (or come to a compromise)".

We started off this topic because one of my colleague was approached by a Christian, who apparently evangelised to him. However, from what my friend commented, the christian had seemed to show him many predictions from the bible that had happened, and told him some more predictions that will to happen. My friend's response, in the end, was as described in the title.. that predictions cannot be proven; I didnt mention a thing throughout.. (guilty) because I kinda agreed (correct me if i am wrong), to his response because i do agree that the bible is not predicting the events happening on earth - like when was Israel coming back as nation, when there will be a chip in our hand, when everyone will have a number craved onto the head.. or when is the end of the day.. Rather i see that whatever the bible say or reveal or predict is about the person of Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ only - of who is he, what he'd done, and what will he do. And that the bible is very clear, that the Christ will comes back and when he comes back this old world and its ways will come to an end. Amen!Well as for now.. just hope that there may be some other chances where we can talk more..

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Dinner at Shih Guan's place...

It had been a very long since the last time I'd been to Shih Guan's place. I always remembered the great time where a great number of us gathered together as CGLG.. having retreat at his place.. learning bible together and planning for the new semster.. Well though, the situation had kinda changed now, it's so delighting to see us, different fellow BASIC still coming together.. still catching up with one another.. still encouraging each other to persereve our walk with Christ.. I really do hope that this will continue, even after a few years down the road..

Friday, August 26, 2005

".. among the lampstands was someone like the Son of Man.."

(reflection2 from the first study of Revelation)

Probably is the changes in life that makes me feeling lost.. when i look around, i see things in a more negative way. I see much struggling inside myself.. and i see much troubles in the world.. so i wished that Christ can come back soon. But i had seemed to forget that i am not struggling alone.. and i am not struggling with my own strength.. and that the world is not groaning in pain alone.

Therefore I was greatly encouraged by the last study. It talked about the revelation of Jesus Christ.. it talked about the certainty that Christ is coming back, and most importantly, is that even before he came back, which is now, he is among the churches.. he is among us who revere his name.

"I saw seven golden lampstands, and among the lampstands was someone 'like a son of man', dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest." ~Rev1:12-13
"The mystery of the seven stars that you saw in my right hand and of the seven golden lampstands is this: The seven stars are the angels of the seven churches, and the seven lampstands are the seven churches." ~Rev1:20

Though we see sin everyday and though we see pain and injustice everyday, we are proned by His spirit to trust in Him more.. to trust that He is in control of everything.. and he will bring these to an end. What a great privilege we had to have such a comfort!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

When is Christ coming back?

(.. a reflection from the 1st study of Revelation)
Nobody knows except God the Father Himself. But His coming back is a certainty.

This is a question that I had been asking almost everyday, either to God or to the friends around me. This question had expressed my weakness (i'm feeling weak everyday) - the inability to anything for myself and for this world. I need Christ to come back and end everything here.

Come to think of that, don't you want an end to this nonsense we had everyday too? When we opened up the newspaper everyday, we see depressing headlines like 'Outbreak of bird flu virus '... 'Bomb blasting kills 16'.. 'Ten killed, 20 trapped in collapsed building in flood-hit city' and etc. People all around the world are killing, cheating, and hurting one another; People around the world is suffering and the poor suffered much still. There is no relationship with one another and everybody is fighting to be the top one... to make a name for themselves, in the expense of others.

And I think when we bring this down to a more micro level, we will be guilty of exploiting other people for our name's sake too. Some of us wanted to earn a name in our workplace that we put all our energy into working hard that we'd forsaken our family. There is no relationship with one another. Some of us lied to make our life better than some other people. There is no relationship with one another. Sometimes we quarrel.. even with our loved ones.. because we want things to be done our ways. Sometimes we just don't bother to say 'thanks' from the bottom of our hearts to the people who loved us or helped us - like our lecturers or our parents - we just think we deserved to be loved.

The point of saying all these is not to condemn us. It is not to ask you to strive more to be a better or loving person. The point I wanted to say, is quite a pessimistic one, is that we have no ability to change the state we are in. In mirco-level we can try to be a better person, but deep in our hearts we know that we can never be better.. somedays we just get angry, somedays we just can't help to hurt our loved ones. In the macro level, we can form good organisations to help the poor and needy, but the poors and needy are always around. The world is still not a better place. There is still injustice around. There is no r'ship w one another. Even i can be a good person outside, I know deep down there is still some people that i will not want to sacrifice my time for. I can't love everyone well, not even to the people who had loved me.

We are like broken tools trying to mend the broken world, without mending ourselves. We need Christ to come back and put an end to everything. When he returns, he will do something to the broken tools and world. For those who had trusted in him, the broken tools will be transform, not mended, to a totally new one; whilst those who didnt trust him will be thrown into the fire. There will be a new world, where is no more death or mourning or crying or pain. Everyone who could see the new world will not be able to do evil anymore.. there will be r'ship w one another and they will give thanks and honor to the Lord forever and ever. Amen.

Thank God that His return is certain; and so would you trust Him who is, and who was, and who is to come?

Saturday, August 20, 2005

CFs gathering...

Today was so fun and good. It is like a break from a routine. I gotta meet many people that I'd loved yet have not met for a long time. Yup, after visiting my grandma with my dad and sis, I went to the Botanical Garden. Janice, our dear sister is taking her wedding photo there, and some of us were invited to be 'extras' in the photo shooting. It was such a fun time.. getting to know new friends and posing different pose and walking around the Botanical Garden. Well I'd to confess in a way that this is my first time walking in the garden, I never know that it is so beautiful.

Thereafter the short phototaking session, I rushed all the way down to Bukit Batok.. to Wir wir's house for the music min gathering.. i must say that i missed the time we had spent together at hall one practising and singing... ... aahh... really really miss it .... Well.. things aren't the same anymore now.. nahz.. anyway, wai was there too, though he was not a music minner, he was there to conduct a workshop for us, and well.. duhz, the topic is on the famous BGR thingy.. anyway, i like and think i had learnt much from Wai's workshop.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

grandma admitted to hospital...depressed..

My family received a call last midnight as we were all about to sleep. It was from my cousin. She told my dad that grandma was admitted to NUH, and was quite critical. My dad got worried, so were sis and me. I was thinking rushing down, with dad, to the hospital whilst sis offered me to pray together for grandma. We prayed, whilst dad went down alone. After prayer, another call came, and aunt exaggerated that grandma was dying soon.. so we rushed down to the hospital after that, one reason is also to be there to give support to my uncle's family.

I sms-ed friends to pray for grandma, because deep in me, I was hoping that she could hear the gospel before she leave. I hoped this at the last time when she was hospitalised too, and I had kinda promised myself to spend more time with her, and by all means, tell her about Jesus Christ. I was disappointed of myself... that I can't get myself motivated to do so. Then many thoughts came though.. I began to see that I was very passive, and I hated it because I wanted things to be done very much, but why I can't make things happen. This is true for my work right now... and it is also true for ministry matters too, in fact, I see that the whole life was too laid back.. so nothing was done.. then stressed up.. then despaired.

A few weeks ago, when I knew that I was coming back to school to work, I wanted very much to continue leading bible study with some gals. Not only me, some of my friends encouraged that too. But what happened now, too laid back -> nothing done -> stressed up -> despaired. AARRGGG... I hated it... for my tuition kid was the same case too.. and so was han min and sixian and her friend...

I do not know what is my priority of my life now. Is it God? Is it work? Is it myself? Arrgg.. I do not know.. life is moving very fast now especially when i started working.. i dun seem to have time to think or plan what to do.. each day is like a routine.. and each morning i uttered the same prayer - May the Lord come quickly.

Aarrrggg... sad.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

40th National Day!

Happy 40th Birthday Singapore.
I had took some pictures of the firework from the highest level of my flat.. wanted to show it but.. erm.. too lazy to get it done... well try it put it up soon.. so stay tune.

And yup! This year I watched the parade at home after having the last bible study on Malachi at Dan and Alison's place..
Upon learning from the book of Obadiah and Malachi, I truly thank God that He had mercy on the nation of Singapore; cuz i had learnt from Obadiah especially, that if the Lord would bring down a nation, no one could raise it up again. What's more is that the Lord had allowed his gospel to be heard on this island, and that we can worship Him without any prosecution from the authority of this land. May Lord continue to cause His Word to bear fruits here. Amen!

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Friendship service...

This was such a nice surprise to me, when Han min agreed to come for the friendship service when i asked him for the first time last week. But geez, I woke up late this morning despite knowing that I'm bringing a friend for service. Nonetheless, after rushing down to SBC, and apologising to him, we went for the service, just in time for the last 2 songs of the singing session. I thought that the whole service was pretty good from the start till end. And, Han min also thought so. His feedback was that he had a 'culture shock' for the first 5 mins, because he realised that nobody raise their hands whilst singing. I thought that comment was quite amusing though. Anyway, he mentioned that he had learnt a lot from the service, and wished to join the coming JYN to understand more of his christian faith. But well, still need to pray for him ba, because JYN will be on every Sun, which i think he will be too busy to come. Nevertheless, I really hope that he could come and learn so that he could impart the things he learnt here to SJSM's ppl, whom I'm really concern too..

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Sentosa Trip..

Well well.. when Grace first 'jio'ed me for this Sentosa trip a few weeks back, i thought it would be a great time of fellowship-ing with one another before all of us embarking into our busy school term. Little do i know that the Sentosa trip is organized not for the above reason. It is to welcome Steven though; and I only know that not very long ago.

Anyway.. i still went for it just to get myself caught in a 'lightbulised' situation. For i woke up late this afternoon, so i'd gone down to Sentosa in such a late timing that the rest were making their way home while leaving the 2 couples and me there in that island... 2 couples? yes 2.. Grace and Steven, Charmain and Yiyi. If you asked me, being a lightbulb for one couple is bad enough, now two.. =S and worse still, they had not learnt in church that married (in this context, dating) couples should welcome single people like me into their activity so as to encourage one another in a godly manner... They are just too engrossed in keeping themselves accompanied..

So what did I do to avoid the awkwardness of 'lightbulism'? Well i tried to pull the gals to my side to talk initially, and tell them that I felt like a lightbulb now and ask them to help me not to feel this way.. but nahz.. this method proved fruitless to me. So in the end, we went 3 separated ways. The couples wanna be alone, so I ended up touring the island alone. But hey, surprisingly, doing the tourist job alone was quite a hearty enjoyment. I could go around the island at whatever pace i want and to whatever places extemporaneously; when i stopped to take pictures i do not need to worry of delaying another person and etc. Except that there is no one to talk to, the whole touring thingy was superd, i had gone to almost all the tourist sites that i always wanted but never been, like the Orchid Garden, Giantic Merlion etc. Nevertheless, i had kinda enjoyed the trip ba!

just a small note to myself that last year this date is the day I started blogging.. yippeee .. duhz...geez!

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Started Work Today...

I am stepping into a totally new chapter of my life today, although i am still in the world. I am known, not longer as a student but as a working adult now.. I will not be able to ask my dad for money, rather i have to start contributing to the family le.. i will not have a flexible amount of time to do the things i like.. I cannot sleep late and wake up late anymore.. and i cannot skip lectures like nobody's business le.. and for transportation, i have to pay more than when i am a student. What is worse is that, i guess that this 'chapter' will continue for another ten, or even more years whilst living..

Alright.. enough of this, so, how's my first day of work today? Well.. it's terribly boring. My 'partner' tried to run the application so as to let me take a look of the simulation that they had been doing. The application, however, compiled with many many errors. So... the whole day was wasted trying to debug the application, no.. to be precise, it should be that - for the whole day, i just sit beside him and look at him keying some stuffs.... though once in a while, he will try to ask me some really technical questions, which i dunno how to answer, to make me look stupid. And i think i really looked stupid when he asked me to write a simple Opengl program to test, and i wrote one without the main() function.. Arrgg... what is happening to me...? Sad!

Wednesday, August 03, 2005


I was complained by my part time work's supervisor of my bad attitude... what shall i do? am i really in wrong? i dun remember having any dispute with her... in fact i was real quiet during my one week there.. i thought that she was friendly to her subordinates, so was i being too friendly to her that i had neglected the offical formality? Or is it because i speak English to her and she is not used to it.. thinking that i am proud?.. or is it i speak too fast to her ? What's wrong with me? I dun like being accused like that... what is the godly thing to do? my agent said that she will explain to her the misunderstanding... do i still need to buy her gifts and meet her up face to face to apologise..?... apologise.. then i would need to know what to apologise for... =s..

This scared me a lot.. so how shall i conduct myself in work? what is godly behaviour in workplace? be to be myself..? if i wanted to be myself, it would be the chirpy.. childish little gal.. with no professionalism. Be a "victorious" christian?... someone with great self-confidence, who go around with a big smile everyday and 'hallelujah' every hour?.. Be a quiet soul that does her work without any comments and complaints..? I'm lost.. and i dun like the feeling of being lost... =s .. and tml is the first day of work.... =S

sad.... i wished that life can be easier.. r'ship with people can be simpler.. I wished that Christ can come back soon to restore all things back to the simple good state.....

Monday, August 01, 2005

Back to school...

yup yup.. i was back to school cuz i gotta a job in NTU. I will be working as a project officer in the School of Mechanical and Areospace Engineering, and i will be doing the programming to stimulate the robot.. =) It is so fun to be back in school.. to be able to meet friends and continue to do bible studies with the people that i had been doing BS since last year .. to be back in a familar environment.. to be able to eat the goody "mee sua" where i cant find it else where except in NTU.

Anyway, I'm starting work on Thurs... =P.. cuz i need some time to deal with my part time issue.. I was back school today to hand up my application forms and to go thru some admin procedure. And well, since i was back in school.. i was caught by some ppl to have lunch with... =)Met up with Poh Lin and Yong jie for lunch.. had some good talk.. then headed to SCR for they need to do some work using their computers.. so i bummed around .. then talked again... =p

Later.. we met up with the CE CG for dinner.. I'm so glad to see the boys meeting up as a CG with the keen interest of continuing studying the bible with us, despite the fact tt we are not longer under CF... pray that God may continue to keep us in Him.. helping us to understand His word as we gathered to study His word in this manner.

After the quick dinner with the CG, me, Ray, Yongjie together with Shaun and Pohlin went for a meeting with the pioneering president and secretary of CF. Well... to summarise my thoughts.. i just hate talking to saleperson... =S they just went all around with their beautiful and impactful words... i was quite lost then.. and i dun like this feeling.. in fact hate this feeling to be unsure.. Hence, this wonderful day that i had was ended with this upsetting feeling... =z