Last Day of the Year...

Oh manz... the last day of the year had just slipped by without me noticing... guess that I was too engrossed in the work of editing the photos.. finding a good gallery and uploading them. Duhz! What to say to a greenhorn in digi camera stuffs..? Nevertheless, I am proud of the first photo gallery I had created...

Here's a link to my photo gallery: http://www.picturetrail.com/nice9al

But to my dismay... the photo gallery that I had signed up is only a free trial for 30 days...

The PRC camp... ( 28/29th Dec)

Headed school, after an hour of sleep, to participate in the PRC camp. This is the first time I'm in such a camp, though they had a similar camp last year. Last year, I was too busy with the Music Ministry Pantomime that I missed the PRC camp and hence missed the chance to make friends with the last year PRCs... that is also why I'm kinda anticipating this coming camp.

The camp was fun.. i would say that it was very fun.. so fun that I'd kinda have a "hangover" after that. Well, since Ray had made it clear that we are purely to make friends with the PRCs, I had kinda give it all in enjoying myself and establishing friendship in the hope that I might one day have a chance to tell them the gospel.

This was one good camp, indeed, that I no need to think of what to do and just follow the program. This was one good camp that the people are so friendly and the ice is easy to break. This is one good camp to see shy people evenually opening up to one another...

However, how good a camp it may be.. without any following up, it will just be another empty fun! Really hope that I would have the wisdom, the initative... and the courage to follow up with them. Pray that they too will one day accept Jesus as Lord and Savior...

Pre- PRC camp...

Gotta an orientation camp on the 28th and 29th of Dec... meeting supervisor on the 30th Dec! Diez!! Haven't been doing my FYP since Christmas Eve and arggg... and no time to do the FYP for the next 2 dayz... so how...? no need to sleep liaoz lahz.. and duhz still have to prepare for the camp!

Christmas isn't christmas...

After so much that had happened, i thought i would be melancholy till the end of the year... Things kinda turned well on thurs... finally have more confidence in my FYP... finally made up my mind and was firm of it. So was kinda relieved after.

But this incident had kinda make me grown in knowing Christ... hence I lamented when I see that Christmas had became a season of shopping and feast and party @ orchard where the local churches put up one performance after another.. All people at Orchard... Christians or not are celebrating Christmas.. are clapping, dancing and rejoicing for the peace we have with one another. That's our society now... as long as we are in peace with one another.. have fun together, it doesn't matter of what you think or say or believe...

So, nobody had paused to think of Jesus.. the Christ... the King that one day will come and judge. If we really think... i guess we will not be rejoicing but repenting and crying out for mercy together. This will then lead to true joy... the joy of knowing that our sins can be forgiven because while we were still evil and helpless, sinful and alienated from God, Christ died for us... on our behalf, he had drank the cup of wrath deserve for us. Hence, really hope that all people, whilst celebrating, may experience this true joy... this true gift of grace and mercy.

Many things had happened...

Have not been blogging for 2 weeks... actually for 2 weeks.. many things happened.. many emotions... many thoughts... many things that i want to say it out.. yet many things to hide.. many things I had learnt.. on the other hand, many things i am unsured... many things that are confused... many things that i am inconfident in doing... many things that weighed me down..

I can't find time to blog them... and I can't find any words to pen down the thoughts and the feelings in me... I even tried to think of Chinese words... but what i can think of is 难以形容.... the more i tried to think... the more 辛苦 i am... like there is something very heavy in my heart...

Running away could be a good way... i realise i wanted to run away from many things but i know i can't... and i shouldn't.. but still i see me running... running away from my FYP project... from the FES matter... from church... from friends... from myself...

yes.. I am weak... I can't make firm decision.. I can't be sure of my project... I can't voice out the wrongs that I see... I can't understand many things... i can't stop thinking of evil... i am a sinner... yes i am a sinner.. and no one... no one except God can save... This is the only thing that i am sure of...

Hence, I dun need sympathy... because we are all in the same plight... Rather, teach me the word of God.. the power of salvation... help me to consider Christ... so that i can have my confidence in the Lord and not in my flesh... so that i may have the wisdom to deal with issues whilst still in the "now and not yet" .. I want to continue in learning God's Word.

Sis told Dad that She wants to be a Christian...

Came back home from school... after a long thoughts on the bus about Christian Ministry and about Christian Living esp in family issues and ministry issue... i concluded when i alighted that i am still unsure... unsure of when to be respectful to parents and when to stand up for faith... what does it mean to be lovingly... what is consider as rebellious? I had decided that i have to ask people...

When I opened the door, as I reached home, I overheard immediately the conversation between my Dad and sis. My sister is telling dad that she wanna be a Christian. My first thought... what shall I do?... what shall i do when i had just concluded that i have to ask people about family issues...? shall i chip into their conversation...? Would I become impatient and start to barl out at dad...? I decided to 逃避...

I turned on my pc... start calling janice.. msn people to talk..

after talking to janice... i did what she suggested. I sat beside my sister and just listened.. self control... self control.. prayed.. self control..

I guess my sister was indeed good in being calm.. or I guess that it's me that was hotheaded. Their conversation, unlike mine, didn't ended with quarrel and tears. My dad made his stand.. he said that he would not interfer any of my sis's decisions when she reached 21. I laughed in my heart... sis is turning 21 in 3 months time.. so i told my sis tt it's a good deal. That's kinda end the conversation.

I asked her how is she feeling after the talk.. she mentioned that she felt happy.. cuz she knows ,at last, what's dad's thinking. I always know dad's thought.. but i'm never felt happy for that... for i see it as sin.. utterly sinful... trying to find excuses for his pride.. for hating Christianity.

Nevertheless, felt relieved after the whole epsoide.

Supper at Wee Seng's house...

Whenever i heard Ann said that they had supper at wee seng's place, how i wish i was there... being in the fellowship... to talk about current issues ... be encouraged from the bible point of view... and to learn from one another...!

Today is the first time i had supper in wee seng's place... as i'd anticipated, it is encouraging... we talk about some ministry matters.. some case studies... etc! Nothing especially new... but bringing it up again certainly sharpen my thinking in many ways.

I can't sleep the whole night after that... juggling the many thoughts i have... and gotten myself tired out and knotty as the night gets deeper. Well.. i can only conclude that thinking stuff at night is not really helpful... at least it's true for me... my thoughts seems to crystallize as the day breaks...

Bible Study... Bible Shopping...

Met Mabel to study bible today at funan... she is the second person that i'd done bible study with in a fast food restaurant. Not a conducive place i know... but well I can't think of anywhere better outside school. Like sixian, she seemed to understand fast for the first study. Now after the study... can only pray and hope that she (and also me) can persevere well in reading the bible in context and being faithful.

After then, go bible shopping with my sis... yes! she had received Christ! She mentioned that she would like to attend a church and wanted to get a bible for herself. Hallelujia for that! I was happy... overjoyed! then lost... so what am I to do next? shall I bring her to church? or shall i let her to decide on her own? ( she mention that she would like to look around on her own ) shall i do bs with her... or shall i just leave it to the church to do it? How about Dad..? will he erupt into great anger when he knew abt this...?

Well... despite the many concerns... the joy is still inexpressible!

Damping Monday...

Gotta up early to go to school to meet my new FYP supervisor.. was late.. so i called to apologised! Prof Chan was kind enough to postpone the meeting to the afternoon. This gave me a break to do some shopping therapy at Jurong Point.

Then went to school.. saw Jeremy and DanDan, as usual, they were having their lunch at canteen A... try to make a card for tree, but made a mess in the end... felt sad while trying to undo the mess!

Met the supervisor then, after borrowing laptop from YongJie, she is a nice lady... but stern when it comes to work. She warned me of my slow progress. i felt embarrassed for not doing anything during the first semster now... really!

Try to do something for the FYP in library.. ended up continuing the mess of making tree's card. Then went for Music Ministry Practice. I was too early, so watch ppl play badminton... memories came back...

Practice was bad... I'd kinda angry with myself for unable to sing it well.. everybody seemed laid back.. late comers, early goers, Ray didnt come for practice, Sharon just chip in like this... AArrrggg... stressed + disappointment... tired !

So the day ended with such a feeling, and i carried this feeling to meet tree.. to pass her the card. It rained.. making my mood damper.. but when tree received the simple card and said how much she loved it.. manz.. that brightened me a lot!

Thanks tree... and may the Lord our Lord Jesus bless you and keep you. May you be able to learn and trust God more as you now serve at Doulos! All the best!!

Brought sis to ARPC...

i realised that i had not been talking to my sister for one week liaoz... we were all busy with our own stuffs - I had camp and FYP in school and she had her part time job. It feels so funny when i do care for her and wanted to talk to her but there is nothing to say to her... and worse i'm indifferent when she talked to me. Preharps this is what they mean that we always hurt the people who is most close to us... or is it just me... the sinner me!?

Nevertheless, I tried to catch her today... cuz it's Saturday... she worked half day! I invited her to hear with me an online sermon from ARPC. She enjoyed the sermon, as I had expected. So then i asked her if she would like to attend today's service at ARPC... since they will begin a series of evangelical Christmas talks today with John Chapman to start the ball rolling. She agreed.

John Chapman had delivered a very faithful message about Jesus... about how from His birth, death and resurrection show forth that He is the Son of God and the King of all. I kept looking at my sis during the service.. hoping that she could be convicted. She is, as what John C. had said, the person who knows the information, but have not move to the light side... Notwithstanding, she seem haven't been so at the end of the service... she had enjoyed herself she said.

KTV です... と BBQ

Finally, today... i'd gonna KTV after such a long time. It is kinda fresh to me cuz the KTV khakis today is so different.. we have Pohlin, Grace, Tree and Yongzhi.. no Charmain, Eunice and Guofeng... geez KTV without charmain is quite different sia cuz no one to sing Sammi's Cantonese songs with me... hee, nevertheless that was still a very enjoyable KTVing...

After that, mi went for the BBQ gathering at Huan Yang's house. We were celebrating the completion of the PDL's first series... duhz... anyway... glad to see some new faces and some familiar ones there... have had good food and fun...

Music Minstry Training Camp...

very very tired now... have been singing for more than 10 hours per day for the past 2 days... and I have one more day to go... and this is the first time that i have to learn to sing in both soprano and alto voice for all songzz... sigh.. no choice ahzz... got not much singers... nevertheless... guess the training is essential ahz.. since we had gotta some place to sing out the gospel to those whom the gospel is needed to be heard. That's the motivation for me to go on now...