I am stressed...

... very stressed... because it is Thursday again...

Words can express my feeling now...

Another chinese piece from me...
try to look up the dictionary if you dun understand... =P

有多少事。。 有多少时。。？
以秤衡量才知那多少事。。那多少时。。
那有多少的事。。 却只有多少的时。。
压迫着我那多愁善感的心。。

心。。 有多么的沉重。。
思。。 有多么的零乱。。
魄。。 有多么的微弱。。
志。。 有多么的懦小。。

但咎。。 如狼似虎着。。

怕那多少的事，多少的时 使我苟延残喘
怕那沉重的心，微弱的魄 使我妄自菲薄
怕那零乱的思，懦小的志 使我裹足不前

惧。。那多少的事，多少的时 弄得我惶惶不可终日

但希望。。
惟有那希望。。 也只为那希望。。 我披荆斩棘着。。

FYP...

I cheated my supervisor in a way.. I can't solve the problem at all.. but I was so afraid of her.. so afraid i shivered in the lab (probably it's cold in the lab)... so afraid that I teared in desperation, so afraid that I decide to hid the problem and tell her that I had solve it... What a wretched person I am!

Can't explain...

I really can't find anything to explain why am i feeling this way.. why don't I feel right to attend the Corporate Meeting today?

Nevertheless, I am happy.. really happy to see Theresa..! Welcome home tree!

Thereafter, have a short dinner with Michelle and Grace.. Guof and Shaun and Phillips before mi and yongjie went off to find ann. It was then I see the difference between the two...

Single or Attached (Married)...

Met up with YongJie and Ann for a while during my break to talk and discuss about the yesterday's PRC event. The discussion slowly drifted to BGR since today is valentine's day. I realised that my thoughts about valentine's day had became different from the past years; this could due to the fact that I'd began to understand the kingdom's purpose of being single or married. That is be it singleness or married, the purpose is to be able to live as a kingdom's citizen - blameless and holy.

Hence, in 1 Cor 7, Paul mentioned that it is better to stay single, like him, because the singles would be concerned about the Lord's affair, be able to devote to the Lord in both body and spirit. But if, the singles cannot control themselves, in the face of temptation ( be it lust or romance), they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn in passion; so that as married ppl, they can be blameless and holy before the Lord.

Despite the very clear words in the bible, Christians are still hoping for the right 'one' so that they can serve God together; I was once too, hoping for romance... then struggle to reason it myself to whether I'm gifted to be single or not...

But the struggle kinda subside, for me, after the Ministry Matter.. after I heard this short sharing from John Chapman, a 75 yr old single evangelist...

He was asked when did he decide to be single. And his answer is simple : "I'd never decide to be single. I just didn't think about it..."

This taught me a lot and really geared my thinking! Why do i spend so much time and effort to think for MYself..? ... then gotta myself caught up in self-pity.. then self-encouragement...!

Being a person saved into the kingdom of God, I should be able to say the same thing too, that I just didn't think abt BGR because my whole mind is filled w the Lord's affairs.. the kingdom issues.. of how to devote myself to the Lord wholly.

As for whether to married or stay single... why decide now? When it comes a man that cause you to fall into great temptation and drawing ur devotion from Lord, you will know that you need to get marry, for it is better to be married than to burn in passion. So why spend time struggling and deciding your martial status now, when the time can be more wisely used to struggle for some other thing?

Well... i guess, for me, spending this day with my fellow brothers and sisters is the best thus far.. because they will not ask me of when am i getting a boyfriend, rather, they had encouraged me to consider Christ...

The Chinese New Year Gathering for PRCs...

I was so excited for this event that i can't sleep the last night. In my mind, many thoughts raced through.. I was praying that gospel message can be clearly presented to them.. and that God can be merciful to them by opening their ears so that they can hear and understand. I knew that it is very hard for the PRCs to respond to God, especially those who had made up their mind, before coming, that they would not want to be a christian, yet I wanted to trust Him who is sovereign and powerful that He will save them in His time. At the same time, I'd pushing myself to plan and write out the games for today.. well if u dunno.. i'm not really a planner.. hence it's quite a chore to me.

But well.. today went fine, i think. There were around 25 of them with us, and they were really opened and friendly towards us, even after knowing our motive of bringing them to a church. Once everyone was gathered @ ARPC, we started the games.. the games went well too, i can see that everyone had had fun. After that was the sing song sessions... the chinese songs were so nice that some PRCs also joined in the singing. Thereafter, was a long sharing from a fellow PRC christian.. i will emphasize again... it was very long... so long that i felt that Pastor Boon Yong had to cut short his message to compensate the time. I felt that the resurrection and the return of Christ was hasty mentioned. Nevertheless, the idea of sin and our relationship with God is well explained, hence now can only hope that the people can really think about it... and respond according.

Chinese New Year Day 2..

planned to do my FYP today... but well.. as usual i am not motivated enough to do it.. so i surf the net... looking for some nice template for this blog.. yes.. i am thinking of changing the blog's outlook.. hope to make it more personalised.. and more かわいい (kawaii) ねえ！
nahz... anyway... it's a fruitless attempt, as you can see, because i am too indecisive... found some nice blog template that i like.. but well can't decide between them.. so i decided to leave it till the next holiday... which is coming soon!

Chinese New Year...

well.. Chinese New Year is always quite boring.. probably is because you are going out with your parents and not your friends.. or simply because you gotta nothing to do at the house of those relatives that you only meet once or twice in a year... Well for me, is the latter...

I can't talk much with people that I wasn't really close.. really.. ok ok i can be very friendly and talk a lot with the people that I'm really closed, but i can't when the person dun respond to me... Well.. that's the reason, preharps, i'm bored during Chinese New Year house visitaiton... because some of my cousins just 不睬 me despite i try to ask them question to get them to talk...

Well... I guess that when people said that the hong bao is the motivation for them to go house visitation... as for me again.. hong bao is definitely not the movation... cuz it's miserable.. whereas i guess Christ is now.. getting to know them better.. talked to them though it's boring... and hopefully there is a chance to share the good news of Jesus Christ...

Bye Sixian...

Sixian is flying off to Australia on Friday... so I'd manage to book a time to meet her last minute yesterday. I am actually quite worried that she thought I gotta some conflicts with the cell, or something had happened to me... because I had not been seeing her ever since she came back..

Well, it turned out quite ok when we met.. hahaha.. we started off with apologising with one another before sitting there for hours to talk. To my dismay, then I realised that the place she is going is not Melbourne but Perth, cuz I had been asking people of which churches is faithful in Melbourne... so, just FYI, I found that Peter Adam's church - St Jude's Anglican Church, Carlton, is a good place to grow and mature in Christ, and it is near the University of Melbourne.

She is really a dear friend to me.. a sister of mine.. and she is one that I really hope she can grow strong and firm in the Lord, our God... and be in partnership with me in helping SJSM... Well now she is going off.. i really pray that she can get a good church there and grow well..

New Look...

That's really a big problem for me now... I have to adapt to my flattened hair... Arg!

Yup yup... I had just rebonded my hair yesterday.. being 心血来潮. And the total cost is 98 dollars plus 5 hours of opportunity cost and some external cost incurred. Actually, it's not that bad lahz.. at least my sis said that it's nice... hahah... though i find that i look quite werid. This is probably because I had less flat hair friends than her, she said, that's why i am not used to that look... well.. be it what... I cannot be washing my hair for 2 dayz... Duhz!

Ministry Matters...

This is the first time I'd gone for such an expensive conference... but I would say that it is worth it.. ! Sound teaching from the bible, good biblical guidances to ministry, engaging pastors, like-minded brothers and sisters and wonderful food... what's more to ask for..?

I had learnt and reminded of many things.. and am clearer of how to make decisions after my gradation.. Now, what's still remained to baffle is the struggle between the mind thingy and the flesh thingy. And to bring what I had learnt into actions.

Fly Kite @ the last minute again...

Well... that's me.. the indecisive weez9al.. I had planned to go for the Evening Expostions which begin on today till thursday.. but backed out at the very last minutes when we are at the Raffles Place interchange... I was in a dilenma then... cuz the next day I had to lead a bible study with the Renita and Clara, and i wasn't prepared yet... and I wanted to listen to the expostions.. Finally i made the decision to fly kite and go home to prepare...