This started when I agreed to go with Sandra to her company to play the 'Cashflow' game 2 weeks ago. And for the past two weeks, there was a constant battle in my mind.. tormenting me.
One side of me cried out, " you need money! and the job is not paying you enough... If you want to have control of your time.. if you want early retirement.. this is not enough. You see the people around.. they can earn 5-digit salary a month.. and you can too. With a stable passive income, you can soon stop working and work on the things that you wished to do... "
And the other side said... "Are you sure that this is right in the eye of God? Do you truly trust that God provides? You knew it well that money is not everything and the purpose of you living and working is not to earn money.. you know it well that you do not need to worry about money, since money or anything else is given by God for you to be a good steward of.. then why are you thinking of 'earning enough'? And do you know that (in fact i think you had realised it too) that once you have more, you will spend more, and become more proud of yourself and less dependent on God…"
I can't then come to a conclusion..
I never expected that i will struggle that hard in the issue of money. Probably, this struggle came about since i'd just started to earn money now. Suddenly, I am spending my own money, and suddenly i am independent, in a way. Or probably, I am always suppressing the greed... and somehow, Sandra woke up the 'sleeping' sinful nature of me. But the solution she provided was so far the same as what given by my parents... "Earn as much as you can!!"
Then, she offered a network marketing business to me. It's easy money and I had to admit that I was tempted... But I was reluctant to join her, because I dun have the capital.. and I was always skeptical towards the network marketing. But the aftermath effect of waking up the greedy monster still lingers… and even right now, I am still unsure where is the place of money in godly living or what should I do or how should think when battling this greedy monster.. ?.. Duhz! Can I choose the easy way to think.. just hope that Christ comes back and do nothing?.. maybe I should get someone to talk to soon..